Napoleon Hill

"The ability to influence people without irritating them is the most
profitable art known to man."

 

-Napoleon Hill

Ronald Reagan

"A leader, once convinced a particular course of action is the right one, must have the determination to stick with it and be undaunted when the going gets rough. "

-- Ronald Reagan, 40th U.S. president

If you’ve never had the pleasure of hearing the legendary Coach Don Meyer speak…

Hurricane Meyer

by Alan Stein

If you’ve never had the pleasure of hearing the legendary Coach Don Meyer speak… you are missing out. Not only does he have more W’s than any coach in the history of college basketball… he is a tremendous public speaker. To say he is a wealth of knowledge would be an understatement. Coach Meyer has forgotten more about the game than most coaches will ever know!

I have had the pleasure of hearing him speak on three different occasions in the last 5 years… and each time I was blown away. Each time I furiously took notes until my hand cramped. Everything he says is of value – there is no fluff. I have also had the privilege of speaking privately with Coach Meyer, which was a real honor. He is the epitome of a servant leader and is overwhelmingly humble, genuine, and authentic.

Even though we have only met in passing, and don’t really know each other, he has had a profound impact on my coaching career and philosophy. I will be forever grateful to Coach Don Meyer.

If you haven’t checked out his site, you need to do so as soon as you are finished reading this blog. True to form, he has a FREE Power Point (140+ pages!) you can download on leadership. It is outstanding. You can find it at www.CoachMeyer.com

Also, if you haven’t read How Lucky You Can Be: The Story of Coach Don Meyer (by Buster Olney), add that to your list. It is hands down one of the most powerful stories I have ever read. It will make you laugh, make you cry, and make you cheer. You can order it at www.Amazon.com

If you follow me on Twitter (www.Twitter.com/AlanStein), you know in the past few months I have dropped a hurricane of Tweets on a variety of different topics. This past weekend at the MBCA Clinic in Minneapolis, Coach Meyer spit too much knowledge for me to Tweet. Yes, you read that correctly, too much for even me to Tweet!

So here is Hurricane Meyer:

NOTE: I’m not going to bother with adding quote marks… everything that follows came straight from his mouth!

·         I’m just an old basketball coach… so I don’t know everything like these young coaches today do.

·         Coaching = Leadership (you can’t coach if you can’t lead)

·         You can play, coach, or officiate. Pick ONE.

·         I don’t make decisions because they are easy, popular, or convenient. I make them because they are right.

·         A scared team is a quiet team. Great teams are vocal and communicate!

·         A great coach sees the little things. A great coach looks at Cindy Crawford and only notices the mole.

·         Great coaches balance repetition with variety.

·         Your goal: to be the best team on your schedule!

·         Sad reality: every parent would rather their son/daughter make All-State than for the team to win the State Championship.

·         Fundraising idea: set up an auction and buy your players for what they are worth and sell them for what their parents think they are worth!

·         Be your own worst critic. Be your own best expert.

·         Foundation of Coaching: know who you are and know what you stand for.

·         Make the big time where you are.

·         Choose battles small enough to win but big enough to fight.

·         Be a skill coach, not a drill coach. You must teach the game!

·         Practice the way you are going to play in games.

·         A good player knows where they are on the court. A great player knows where everyone is on the court. The best players know where everyone is and what they should be doing!

·         Kids today don’t listen, but they do watch. Set the example with your actions!

·         Every day you should make a ‘needs assessment.’ What does my team need from me to get better?

·         Let your players know these 2 things every day: here is one thing you are doing well (and why) and here is one thing you can do better (and how).

·         Always plan, prepare, and practice like you just lost your last game.

·         It costs you nothing to do the right thing. It can cost you everything when you do the wrong thing.

·         You can choose captains, but you can’t pick leaders. Leadership comes from within.

·         Whoever controls the locker room controls the team. Do you control it? Or do your players?

·         Everyone needs to have someone believe in them. For players from ‘broken’ homes, the coach may be the only person who does!

·         If you coach for any reason other than the love the game or because you want to impact kids, you are in the wrong business.

·         You can only reach your potential as a team if your best player is your hardest worker.

·         Don’t do 50 things one time to get better, do one thing 50 times (repetition = improvement).

·         3 people on your team need to ‘bring it’ every day: the head coach, the point guard, and the best player.

·         Expect greatness. Inspect greatness. Accept greatness.

·         It’s always easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. Don’t accept that as an excuse very often!

·         Don’t coach on emotion. Get mad, calm down… then act mad.

·         Celebrate every win… until you get to the locker room. Then move on to the next game.

·         The worst day in coaching is still better than the best day doing just about anything else!

·         Plan your week on Sunday. Plan the next day, in greater detail, the night before.

·         Great teams are good enough to win even when the ‘ball doesn’t bounce their way.’

·         Rules for individual workouts: personal and purposeful

·         You must practice with the poise and effort of a championship team to become a championship team.

·         Great coaching: clear, concise, complete

·         It’s not who we play or where we play, its how we play that matters.

·         You must teach all 6 phases of the game:

o   Defensive coverage (transition, talk, point)

o   Shot pressure (contest, alter shot)

o   Rebound (block out, pursue, chin the ball, outlet)

o   Value the ball (move the ball, hard cuts, set screens)

o   Shot discipline (Who? Where? When?)

o   Offensive board coverage

·         The more you think, the slower your feet move.

·         Don’t give directions that can be understood, give directions than can’t be misunderstood.

·         If you have to tell everyone you are great… you aren’t.

·         Gossipers say behind your back what they won’t say to your face. Flatterers say to your face what they won’t say behind your back.

·         Positioning, anticipation and technique create quickness. Therefore, you can always get quicker.

·         You can never work too much on shooting.

Well there you have it, a ton of knowledge from one of the best ever.

Please honor Coach Meyer and forward this blog to at least one other coach. Help me spread his message.

I appreciate you and wish you the best this season,

Alan Stein

www.StrongerTeam.com

www.Facebook.com/StrongerTeam.com

Why confrontation is important and passive aggressive doesn’t work.

 

What happens when we do nothing Gavriel's Horn

Can you give an ounce more?

As a coach, I ask the players on our team to give all they have. “Give 100 %.” The smart coaches ask their players to give 110%, somehow they have figured out how to get an extra 10% out of their player.

Recently I visited with a friend that was going through a struggle in a relationship. I asked if they thought they could give an ounce more of compassion in this situation. Could they see that the person had a difficult background and tough circumstances to overcome? If they offered an ounce more of compassion maybe that would help the relationship and would make the irritations less irritating. My reasoning is to see things from the other person’s point of view and understand the difficulties they are under.

An ounce more of compassion might be your best option. Being frustrated is not helping and not bringing any healing. This person may not change ten years from now. What has to change is how we treat that person. It is the only thing we can control.

Then I thought about myself and thought that is what I need to tell myself. An ounce more compassion and understanding would help me in all my relationships. We seem to have the best advice for others that we need to use on ourselves.

Use an ounce today.

Friend-o-meter

We all have friends and carry on conversations that take place at different levels. Different levels of emotions, different levels of caring, different levels of intentness.

Bill Gothard, in his Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts, has identified four "Levels of Friendship".

They are (1) acquaintance, (2) casual friend, (3) close friend, and (4) intimate friend.

I think we should also develop some type of friend-o-meter. How we measure our friends and how much we value their friendships on the different levels. It is a way you judge how many close friends you have and how comfortable you feel.

The circle of 5 advertisement by the certain cell phone carrier is a great indicator of where we sit with our friends and family. Also I think it helps as we look at those in our larger circle. What about our circle of 20, 50 or 100? So if we graded on a friend-o-meter with 100 of your contacts in your phone or database how would you come out?

If you took 100 people from your contact list how many could you put in the following categories:

Random things of an acquaintance/casual friend:

Those you could ask for an extra quarter if you are short at the drink machine.

Help you out with cash at lunch one day you forget your wallet (my friends all know my trick).

A ride from the mechanic when your car is in the shop. Getting a ride to or from the airport.

Watching someone’s house, picking up their newspaper, getting the mail while out of town.

Items with a close friend:

Counsel shared from either and knowing it won’t leave that room.

Listening to frustration and not trying to fix anything just listening.

Coming by the second time during the day to see if they are really ok (because you know when they said everything was ok the first time they weren’t telling the truth).

Calling them to check on them even when you are tired and you know they many not want to talk.

Driving by to see them even when it’s out of the way and you have a to do list that isn’t half way done.

“No, really it’s ok I have time to talk.” When you have to be somewhere. I can remember being in the certain places where I had heard the tough news from different friends, whether it was in my car, in my office or face to face. (I also recall the times I didn’t make the call when a call was probably just what a friend needed)

Intimate friend

Those you can share anything without being judged.

Those you can say what you want to say without fear.

Those who will tell you in time what you may not want to hear, but they will say it anyway in love.

5% club

Percentage wise we all differ. I would venture when we get down to it we all have a list of about 5% (or 5 out of that 100) you can count on to share the things you really want to share.

One of the worst ways to hurt is hurt emotionally. Most people don’t know what to say or how to handle it in the most effective way. So they do the best thing they think possible; they turn the other way. They go and completely ignore the person hurting emotionally.

The person who has lost his job, lost his health, or lost his family is less intimating than the man who is struggling emotionally.

We know how to reach out or put people on a prayer list for a list of illnesses. We know what to pray or counsel for when people lose something tangible.

It is hard to put down that this person is hurting emotionally and sometimes feels the weight of the world. Or this person has a feeling of loneliness that makes them not want to go on. The feeling of being kicked in the gut and not knowing how to get up off the floor.

        Where are you?

It’s why I do what I do. I love to be able to visit with young men and talk with them about their struggles. I told our team my job was to get the absolute most our of their potential whether they liked it or not. Today’s kids have less fear. They are willing to put in time, but sometimes resist change and teaching at times. “Don’t hamper my ability to teach you by involving your emotions. You have to allow me to do my job to the best of my ability so I can help you be at your best. If you resist if hurts our chance to grow as a team and your chance to grow as a player and young man,” I told them.

I wonder sometimes why we limit ourselves. We limit ourselves in our relationships. We limit ourselves in our own ability to grow. We limit ourselves by worrying about what others think.

Expand your 5%. Expand the people you feel close to and who you can share with when you struggle. Most young people struggle and never have someone to talk with about their issues. I want our young men to find people they can talk to so they can “empty the bucket,” That’s my phrase for being able to get everything out. You have to have someone you can “empty the bucket” with or it gets stuffed inside. I’ve seen the young adults and adults that stuff it inside and it doesn’t work.

My challenge is to see how you can be there for other people and whose 5% are you in?

Who would call you in time of need? Not superficial need, but real need?

Who would you call and what are you doing to improve that relationship?

Article on Jerry West by Jonathan Abrams

This is an article by Jonathan Abrams from Grantland.com on the great Jerry West. West is open about is life long battle with self-esteem issues. Also previews his new book which comes out today (Oct.18): West by West: My Charmed, Tormented Life. click here for the article

Self-esteem by Brian Tracy

By Brian Tracy ***
------------------------------------------------------------

Your self-esteem is probably the most important part of your personality. It precedes and predicts your performance in almost everything you do. It is the energy source or the reactor core of your personality, and how much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm and personal magnetism. People with high self-esteem are more positive, more likable and more effective in every part of their lives.

Everything that you do or say or think will affect your self-esteem. Your job, therefore, is to keep your self-esteem high and positive on a continuing basis.

Probably the best definition of self-esteem is this: the level to which you respect and value yourself as an important, worthwhile person. People with high self-esteem feel terrific about themselves and their lives. When you feel really good about yourself, you tend to be the very best person you can possibly be.

To perform at your best and to feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual state of self-esteem building and maintenance. Just as you take responsibility for your level of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality of your mind.

I have developed a simple formula that contains all the critical elements of self-esteem building, and you can use it on a regular basis to assure maximum performance.

This formula is comprised of six basic elements. They are: goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards. Let's take them one at a time.

How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals. The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about yourself.

Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step-by-step toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you. For that reason, it's really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work toward achieving those goals. Each progressive step causes your self-esteem to go up and makes you feel more positive and effective in everything else you do.

The second element in self-esteem building is having clear standards and values to which you are committed. Men and women with high self-esteem are very clear about what they believe in. The higher your values and ideals are, and the more committed you are to living your life consistent with those values and ideals, the more you will like and respect yourself, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruent--that is, when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another. But when your goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being, and that's when you start to make real progress.

Many people tell me that they are unhappy with their job because they can't seem to achieve success no matter how hard they try. I always ask them if they are doing what they really care about and believe in. In many cases, people realize that they are not happy with their job because it is the wrong kind of work for them. Once they change jobs and start doing something that they really enjoy, something that is more consistent with their innermost convictions, they start to make real progress and get a lot of satisfaction out of their work.

The third element in self-esteem building involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and standards, it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep score of your small and large successes along the way. The very act of setting up a goal, breaking it down into smaller parts, and then completing those parts makes you feel like a winner and causes your self-esteem to go up. But remember that you can't hit a target you can't see. You can't feel like a winner unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success and then achieve those standards.

The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with others. The more you know about how well the others in your field are doing, and the more favorably you compare with them, the more you will feel like a winner, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Successful people continually compare themselves with other successful people. They think about them and read about them and study their performances, and then they work to surpass them one step at a time. Eventually, successful people reach the point where they compete only with themselves and with their past accomplishments. But this comes after they have moved to the top and left many of their competitors behind.

The next element for self-esteem is recognition of your accomplishments by people whom you respect. To feel really great about yourself, you need the recognition of people you look up to and admire, such as your boss, your coworkers, your spouse and people in your social circle. Whenever you are recognized and praised for any accomplishment by someone whose opinion you hold in high regard, your self-esteem goes up, along with your eagerness and enthusiasm to do even better on the job.

The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that are consistent with your accomplishments. You may work in a field where you receive financial bonuses, status symbols--larger offices, bigger cars--or even plaques and trophies for superior achievement. All of those symbols can have an incredible impact on raising your self-esteem and causing you to feel terrific about yourself.

If, however, your existing situation does not offer the tangible or intangible rewards that are necessary for you to build and maintain your self-esteem, you must create rewards for yourself. One of the smartest things you can do is to design a system for giving yourself rewards for both small and large accomplishments as you move progressively toward your goals. For example, people who do telephone prospecting will often treat themselves to a cup of coffee after every 10 calls. After 25 calls, they will reward themselves with a walk around the building or the block. After 50 calls, they will go out to lunch. Each of those rewards serves as an incentive that motivates them to repeat the performance. The end result is success, enthusiasm, and high self-esteem.

Whether or not your current environment provides the six elements of self-esteem building--goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards--you need to establish your own structure and take full responsibility for building yourself up on a regular basis.

The only real way for you to absolutely know that you are a valuable and worthwhile person is for you to make the effort, overcome the obstacles and pay the price to bring these elements into your life. When you have that foundation, you will experience a form of mental fitness and unshakable optimism that will sustain you through failure and propel you to success.

About the Author:

Brian Tracy is an authority on the development of human potential and personal effectiveness. He is chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations. Brian addresses more than 250,000 people each year, to audiences as large as 20,000 people. Visit http://www.BrianTracy.com for more information.

Good article from CNN:What teachers want to tell parents

 

Parents, teachers and coaches all should read the following article from CNN: click here

Reconnect

I thought last spring how unconnected or de-connected I can become with my team, with others and my family.

Whether it is a mission statement, or a charge this is what I have given to our team for this year.

We may not have the most of (fill in the blank), but we can make up for it in other ways. I need something to hold myself accountable. I want something to hold our team accountable.

For evaluating how our team is playing I love statistics and trends. I love to analyze numbers of how we are playing, shooting, rebounding, defending, etc. What I don’t like doing is monitoring how much a player is growing and how a team is growing emotionally. Each one is different and takes its own time table.

We may not reach of these goals. We will strive to hit them between now and the last game of the season. The goals we want to achieve on the court and in games are tangible and are for all to see. Only our team can see these goals.

It may take every day single day of our season and up to the last second. That will be our commitment for our team.

Reconnect

We will be committed to each other

We will love each other

We will give our best for each other

We will depend on each other

We will be here for each other

We will cheer for each other

We will forgive each other

We will listen to each other

We will put yesterday behind us

We will not worry about tomorrow

We will give it all we got today

We will respect each other

We will confront each other

We will help each other

We will have each other’s back

From Self Improvement Newsletter

Description:

Throughout the course of each day, it's a good idea to take a step back and examine not just the road you are traveling, but how you are going about the journey. Are you just going through the motions or are you being the best version of you that you can be? Keep these six questions in mind every day in order to live life to the fullest:

1. Are you 100% in the moment and totally committed to all you do?
2. Are you naturally enthusiastic and excited about life?
3. Do you approach life with the magic, vulnerability, and curiosity of a child?
4. Are you as honest as a child?
5. Do you love unconditionally?
6. If you fall down, do you get right back up?

Can you honestly answer "yes" to each of these questions? Which of these questions do you think has the strongest effect on how you live your life? Do you have any questions to add to this list?

From the book, The Practice of the Presence of God, by Brother Lawrence

“My day to day life consists of giving God my simple, loving attention. If I am distracted, He calls me back in tones that are supernaturally beautiful. If you think of me, remember the grace with which God has blessed me rather than my typical human ineptitude.

My typical prayers consist of simple continuation of this simple exercise. Sometimes I imagine that I’m a piece of stone, waiting for a sculpture. When I give myself to God this way, He begins sculpting my soul into the perfect image of His beloved Son. At other times, I feel my whole mind and heart being raised up into God’s presence, as if, without effort, they had always belonged there.

Some people may consider this attitude self-deceptive. But I cannot permit it to be called deception, since in this state of enjoying God I desire nothing but His presence. If I am denying myself, the Lord will have to remedy it. I want Him to whatever He pleases with me; all I want Him to be is completely His.”

 

I have read through this book a couple of times. It is high on my recommendation list for your devotional reading and improving your walk with the Lord. My college coach gave this to me last spring as well as some other coaches when he was here in town to speak.

How to Coach Your Boss blog post from Michael Hyatt

How to Coach Your Boss

Much has been written on the topic of coaching employees. (One of my favorites is a book we published a few years ago by Daniel Harkavy. It is called Becoming a Coaching Leader: The Proven System for Building Your Own Team of Champions.) But very little has been written on the topic of coaching your boss.

 

The truth is that most employees see things that their boss says or does that are ineffective or inefficient. Sometimes, they see these things more clearly than anyone else. The boss could profit greatly from the insight of his or her subordinates—if only they could get honest feedback.

The problem is that most people are scared to correct their boss or offer advice. They are afraid they will be punished or, at the very least, given a cold shoulder. But that’s not always true.

The best bosses welcome criticism, knowing that the shortest distance between where they are and where they want to go is the truth. They create a “safe environment,” where people can freely speak their mind.

But what if you are not sure about your boss? What if you are afraid you will jeopardize your career by speaking up? Here are a few things to consider when attempting to offer advice to your supervisor.

1. Check the weather. Bosses are people, too. They have families, pay bills, and struggle with the same things you do. They probably have a boss as well. They have good days and bad. And, sometimes they are more receptive to input than others. Find a time when the boss is not in a bad mood or distracted by other things.
2. Be humble. Don’t correct your boss out of anger. Don’t correct him out of pride. Instead, acknowledge that both of you are human. He or she has faults—but so do you. The reason you are on the same team is so you can help each other.
3. Start with praise. Most people can hear criticism if they know they are loved and accepted. Offering a genuine compliment is a good way to start a difficult conversation. But beware: it must be authentic. Otherwise, it will feel like manipulation.
4. Ask for permission. You might say something like, “There’s something I’d like to share with you that I think would be helpful to both of us, but I want to make sure I have your permission to speak openly.” Then pause. It’s difficult for the boss to take offense if he or she has given you permission to proceed.
5. Put it in context. One of the best things you can do is help your boss understand how his behavior is keeping him from accomplishing his goals. For example, “I know that collaboration is one of your highest values. But when you cut me off in mid-sentence, it makes me want to withdraw and not participate.” Or, “You have always encouraged me to set high goals and believe in myself, but when you snap at me like that, I feel small and want to give up.”
6. Assume the best. I don’t know too many bosses that get up in the morning with the goal of making their employees miserable. They are most likely clueless about the behavior that is driving you crazy. If they knew about it, they would correct it. You have to assume they will change once they have the benefit of your perspective and input.
7. Believe that it matters. It’s not an accident that you are working for this person at this time and are noticing this behavior. Maybe God has placed you in this person’s life to help them grow. Some of the very best counsel I have ever received came from my subordinates. If you don’t speak up, who will?
8. Take the risk. Speaking out takes courage. You will never grow into the leader you were meant to be if you are not willing to take a risk and occasionally speak up. Being a suck-up will not get you promoted. Being courageous eventually will—so long as it’s done in the right spirit.

As a boss myself, I consider it an expression of loyalty when my people talk directly to me rather than about me. I know I have faults. I want to grow. You can help me—and your own boss—by taking the initiative.

Question: Do you need to sit down and have a talk with your boss? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

25 characteristics of a husband who truly loves his wife by Robert Lewis

1. Includes his wife in envisioning the future.

2. Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.

3. Is willing to say "I'm sorry" and "Forgive me" to his family.

4. Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.

5. Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions.

6. Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.

7. Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.

8. Anticipates the different stages his marriage will pass through.

9. Frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.

10. Provides financially for his family's basic living expenses.

11. Deals with distraction so he can talk with his wife and family.

12. Prays with his wife on a regular basis.

13. Initiates meaningful family traditions.

14. Initiates fun family outings for the family on a regular basis.

15. Takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life.

16. Manages the schedule of the home and anticipates pressure points.

17. Keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.

18. Makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will.

19. Lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.

20. Honors his wife in public.

21. Explains sex to each child in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective.

22. Encourages his wife to grow as an individual.

23. Takes the lead in establishing sound family values.

24. Provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.

25. Is involved in a small group of men dedicated to spiritual growth.

Success by Brian Tracy

September 12, 2011
The Key to Long-Term Success
By: Brian Tracy
Successful people have been studied in depth for more than 100 years. They have been interviewed extensively to determine what it is they do and how they think that enables them to accomplish so much more than the average person.
In this Newsletter, you learn the most important single factor of long-term success and how you can build it into your personality and your attitude. You learn how to virtually guarantee yourself a great future.
The Harvard Discovery on Success
In 1970, sociologist Dr. Edward Banfield of Harvard University wrote a book entitled The Unheavenly City. He described one of the most profound studies on success and priority setting ever conducted.
Banfield's goal was to find out how and why some people became financially independent during the course of their working lifetimes. He started off convinced that the answer to this question would be found in factors such as family background, education, intelligence, influential contacts, or some other concrete factor. What he finally discovered was that the major reason for success in life was a particular attitude of mind.

 

"Don't Let Anything Hold You Back"

Everyday thousands of people accomplish unbelievable tasks because they never put a limit on what they believe they can do. Once you learn how to break through your personal success barrier nothing will stand in your way of achieving greatness.

Develop Long Time Perspective
Banfield called this attitude "long time perspective." He said that men and women who were the most successful in life and the most likely to move up economically were those who took the future into consideration with every decision they made in the present. He found that the longer the period of time a person took into consideration while planning and acting, the more likely it was that he would achieve greatly during his career.
For example, one of the reasons your family doctor is among the most respected people in America is because he or she has invested many years of hard work and study to finally earn the right to practice medicine. After university courses, internship, residency and practical training, a doctor may be more than 30 years old before he or she is capable of earning a good living. But from that point onward, these men and women are some of the most respected and most successful professional people in any society. They had long time perspectives.
Measure the Potential Future Impact
The key to success in setting priorities is having a long time perspective. You can tell how important something is today by measuring its potential future impact on your life.
For example, if you come home from work at night and choose to play with your children or spend time with your spouse, rather than watch TV or read the paper, you have a long time perspective. You know that investing time in the health and happiness of your children and your spouse is a very valuable, high-priority use of time. The potential future impact of quality time with your family is very high.
If you take additional courses in the evening to upgrade your skills and make yourself more valuable to your employer, you're acting with a long time perspective. Learning something practical and useful can have a long-term effect on your career.
Practice Delayed Gratification
Economists say that the inability to delay gratification-that is, the natural tendency of individuals to spend everything they earn plus a little bit more, and the mind-set of doing what is fun, easy and enjoyable-is the primary cause of economic and personal failure in life. On the other hand, disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem and personal satisfaction.
The long term comes soon enough, and every sacrifice that you make today will be rewarded with compound interest in the great future that lies ahead for you.
Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, think long-term. Sit down today and write out a description of your ideal life ten and twenty years into the future. This automatically develops longer-time perspective.
Second, look at everything you do in terms of its long-term potential impact on your life. Do more things that have greater long-term value to you.
Third, develop the habit of delaying gratification in small things, small expenditures, small pleasures, so that you can enjoy greater rewards and greater satisfaction in the future.

 

"Relax and allow affirmations to go through your subconscious mind!"

According to whole brain research, you can learn subjects quite rapidly as a result of deep relaxation and music used in a systemized, organized process. Because of this, it is also possible for you to learn new belief systems using the same techniques.

“How much will I get paid?”

The other day while doing jobs around the house one of my younger daughters had a question once she was given a task. Instead of a quick “yes dad” or “yes mom” she was curious of what she was getting out of the deal.

“How much am I going to get paid?”, she asked. Not getting upset I told her to do the job and she doesn’t get paid per job in this household. Sorry that’s not how we do business. Everyone pitches in, although sometimes begrudgingly.

I laughed when she said the statement then thought about it the rest of the day. It made me think of how much do I get that I deserve:

I have a great family, but I can easily get upset about something minor.

My wife has made many sacrifices for me, yet I am sometimes no as loving and supportive as I should be.

I am thankful to have the house I have even if something needs to be fixed here and there.

I am fortunate to work at a school that has the same values I do even if we may not have the same budget some schools have.

God does amazing things in small ways. He can take a simple sentence and allow it to get me refocused and change my way of thinking. Instead of feeling sorry for myself this allowed me to look at things a different way and be much more appreciative.

90 percent of a school's proficiency can be explained by five factors

This is from All Pro Dad August 12, 2011

The Educational Testing Service reports that 90 percent of a school's proficiency can be explained by five factors:

1. Number of days students are absent from school,

2. Number of hours spent watching television

3. Number of pages read for homework

4. Quantity and quality of reading material in the home, and most importantly

5. The presence of two parents in the home.  Like it or not, dads matter supremely in education.  But sadly, many fathers have never set foot on their child’s school campus.

MSN Careers - 23 traits of good leaders - Career Advice Article

 

MSN Careers - 23 traits of good leaders - Career Advice Article

Tim Hansel quote

"Our hearts beat excitedly over stories of people like Abraham and Moses, yet we fail to recognize that they were as frail and nervous as we are. We stand in awe of Moses at the burning bush: Now there is a bush that burns, we say. I would like to be a bush like that, but I'm just a heap of ashes.
    And that's as far as we get. We discuss the phenomenon of what God can do in a life, tell amazing stories about it, praise it-but then resign ourselves to being nothing more than what we think we are, a mere bystander, resigned to sitting in the balcony among the spectators.
    But it is not the bush that sustains the flame. It is God in the bush, and so, any old bush will do!" Tim Hansel, Holy Sweat

18-year-old gives his $40,000 scholarship to other teens - Good News - TODAY.com

 

18-year-old gives his $40,000 scholarship to other teens - Good News - TODAY.com

I. Love others unconditionally-it’s your best option

I. Love others unconditionally-it’s your best option

Unconditional love means to care about other people without any strings attached. It means you don’t ask for anything or expect anything in return. It is not that I will do this if you do this in return. It is not a love that is for sale. It is not keeping a score of what you do for someone else and what they have done for you. Paul writes in his letter to the church at Corinth a passage about how we are to love and how it comes without conditions.

I Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Loving unconditionally allows you to have the freedom to have to change others. Once you learn to accept people the way they are you will be amazed at how people accept you for the way you are as a person. Unconditional love is what God has for each of us. He accepts us no questions asked. Not for what we should be or what we can be, but for who we are as we are. Does he want us to be better and cut out things that can harm us and others? Does he want us to correct things in our life? Does he want us to live more according to his word? Yes, but acceptance is always there from Him.

We need to do the same for people that come across our path. Acceptance is part of transitioning. It is part of the transition from one phase of life to the next. Your transitions rely on your ability to love and understand unconditionally.

To love unconditionally is to not put conditions on the relationship. My own children need to know that I will love them no matter what. Not just because they clean their room, not because they make good grades, not because they do their jobs on time and not because they excel at some extracurricular activity. They have to know deep down that I will love them no matter what. Sure they will mess up and we will have our struggles. They know that whatever happens and even if I am mad or my wife is mad at their actions we still love them.

The players I coach need to understand that I love them and want them all to do well. Each player we have must know that I will keep things tight and strict, but if they mess up I will still love them. It takes a while to develop that type of relationship. I do not love them more for winning than losing. I do not love them more for having a good practice than having a bad practice. There is not more love if they make the winning shot or miss the last second shot.

A freshman does not understand that the first day they arrive on campus. It takes time to develop a relationship. It is the same way in most of the relationships we all have. When you arrive at a new school or new job you will not immediately have a bond of trust. To get to that level it takes time. It can’t be rushed. Strong relationships that are built on unconditional love do not just happen just as they are not easily broken. It takes time and patience.

There are no strings attached in unconditional love. It is a love that is pure and can be life-long. You will find when you begin to accept people for who they are and not for what they can do for you it makes your relationships that much stronger. There will be people you come across in your life that either directly or indirectly will take the approach that they will be takers and not givers. They will be the type of person that will only want to be around someone that they can get something from. Those are the type of people that do not have unconditional love. Unfortunately you will come across them and you may get burned by them if you don’t pick up on it in time. Like we will talk about throughout this book some of the lessons you need to learn on your own. This is one that can really hurt because any time people inflict a type of pain it can cause long term emotional issues that some people have a difficult time getting over.

If you have unconditional love and start to have tolerance with others you will be amazed at how much less stress you can have in your life. You add a lot of problems to your life by having high expectations of others and by not accepting them the way they are as people. It is extremely freeing to be accepted the way you are, warts and all. We all come with blemishes and marks that make us imperfect. It is in being accepted by someone else that makes being felt loved the even better.

One of the coaches I worked for Mark Gottfried used to refer to the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament as the “greatest show on earth.” I couldn’t agree more. Before I was able to coach at the NCAA level at Murray State and the University of Alabama I would travel somewhere in southeast and go wherever I could to see some of the tournament games. If an NCAA tournament site was close I was going to find a way to go. For a basketball fan like me it is a blast. On a particular trip I went to Birmingham on a Thursday to watch the first round games. I stayed with some friends and got up the next morning and drove to Atlanta to watch another day of games.

Of all the games a game I watched over the two day period that Thursday evening had a scene that has been locked into my brain ever since. What often happens in these first round games is you will see an upset which makes the tournament that much more exciting. Over the years this has created the hype of the event, “March Madness.” This evening a team from a lesser known league upset a highly ranked team from one of the big conferences. It was seen as one of the big upsets in the tournament that season.

The star player of the losing team missed a shot in the last few seconds of the game that could have made a difference in the outcome. Once the game was over I watched the young man that had missed the shot. He was bending over in obvious emotional pain. He knew his career was over. There would be no more games for him with his college team. He would never wear those colors or that jersey again. He was out there on the floor all alone.

Since it was a fairly big upset the other team was busy celebrating. Players, coaches and cheerleaders were excited to have such a win for their school. The losing team members each had their heads down or were making their way to the locker room.

This particular player took the loss very hard. I felt sorry for him even being a neutral observer. It was then I saw the scene I will not forget. I watched his coach walk across the floor. He looked back at the commotion on the floor and during all of that was going on he looked directly at his player. The coach gave him a glance. It was a look without sympathy almost to the point of disgust. After the coach saw his player he practically did not break stride and he kept walking.

I could understand how upset the coach was to lose the game. His team should have won easily. Emotions run high in those situations. The coach was visibly unhappy about the loss and almost in a bit of humiliation. Maybe the player did not execute in the last few minutes like the coach had instructed him to do. Even so it would not have taken a lot of effort for him come over to console the player. The moment sticks with me to this day and hopefully makes me more sympathetic. I have been both the player that has missed the shot and also the coach that has lost the close games.

Those few seconds can tell a lot of stories. For the coach his look said so much. It was part indifference to the player, part shock at the loss. For the player there was definitely a degree of hurt, embarrassment to go out with a loss like this and the end of a very good career. A cynic may say he was trying to get sympathy from someone, anyone.

A few seconds can tell a lot about us as people. These were real adult characters in a real adult story. What you will find as you make your way in this world is immaturity doesn’t stop at the junior or senior high school graduation. We all in a way hoped that pettiness was going to stop once we walked down the halls of our high school for the last time. I hate to report it doesn’t work out in a pretty picture like we had envisioned.

Life is so similar to that moment at the end of the game. A lot can happen in a few seconds. Your true colors will come out as will the colors and character of other people in seconds. Coaching at the highest level is packed with pressure. Fortunately I have been able to see it up close.

Being a part of the NCAA tournament as a coach it was an dream come true. While coaching at Murray State University our team took on Duke in the 1997 NCAA tournament. All the preparation you put in as a player or a coach you look forward to have this kind of an opportunity. The events then happen so fast you have a hard time taking everything in as it occurs.

As our teams took the court with for the final warm-ups I found myself turning the corner after walking down the hallway from our locker room and following Coach Mike Krzyzewski. There was a lot more attention paid to him, but you could feel the magnitude of the moment. As I walked a few steps behind you could feel the uniqueness, but also knew that this was a different kind of a game. Cameras going, fans cheering and knowing you are the part of something very special. People who say they know how they would react or judge others for their reaction have not been in the others person’s shoes most of the time.

It is easy to say that you would show the compassion and be there for the player when they miss a big shot. Are we there when someone needs our help with an everyday problem? Are we there when someone just needs a listening ear? I observe a lot of coaches as well as situations in athletics where I cringe when I hear what they say and how they respond. I’m sure people say the same as they watch me coach. Looking back most coaches in their deepest moments would like to take certain times back to relive, but like the rest of us we don’t get that chance.

From this particular game I witnessed the losing coach would now have to face the media. Then he would have to face the alumni which would naturally be upset. No one was going to be happy about the outcome. The coach usually gets the blame in losses like this one. Most coaches at this level of athletics understand the job description. You lose-you take the blame. I can identify with the coach being upset at the player. I understand all the emotions from both the player’s perspective and from the coach’s side.

To comprehend fully you need to understand that at this level of basketball the recruiting process is long. It starts when prospects are in the 10^th or 11^th grade on average. It could be even earlier depending on the player. So this relationship most likely had been through a lot of highs and lows. This relationship between coach and player had been a long one. Probably more important was the relationship between the coach and the player’s family.

The recruiting started so long ago. The player was an outstanding talent and seemed to give everything he had to the basketball program. Now in an instant the career is over and finished. Unfortunately the coach at that point in time was like a lot of us. How do we treat those around us? You do well or perform well for us and we will like you. You don’t deliver and we will be disappointed. I would like to say as a college coach myself we don’t act like that, but we are human and make human mistakes.

That image still is with me. I see the young man with the unbelief that the season was over. He was a major star at the college level and went on to play in the pros. He may have never known that his coach left him out there on the floor. Since his head was down he could not see his coach. The head coach looked directly at his player, saw him in emotional pain over the loss and walked the other way. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal to the player, but to most of us unconditional love is a big deal. In that moment the player-coach relationship came down to the missed shot and the lost game. It was about what can you do for me?

It was a sad picture watching the scene unfold right there on the floor. I am not sure how many people saw the exact same sequence of events that I saw. I was in a perfect position. Standing a couple of rows behind the press tables I was close enough to see it all unfold. There was no misunderstanding what I saw. I witnessed it just like I witness myself making the same mistakes. In the big coliseum that night maybe my eyes were the only ones that saw the exact scene the way I described them. Even so this scene has played out on other courts, fields, businesses, homes and you name the place across the world. People see someone hurting and because the relationship is built on conditions they do not stop. You can find a excuse or you take the time. It is a choice we each have. An excuse to not really care for someone unconditionally or we take the time to love someone unconditionally.

Love others unconditionally and you will find those transitions in life will go smoother. People that get under your skin, maybe just maybe they have a good side to them after all. People you think are nearly perfect have their stains and need unconditional love even when you find out they are not perfect.

John 3:16, 17

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

1. How have you been loved unconditionally in the past?
2. Are there situations where you could have loved someone and cared more about them despite their faults?
3. What steps would you have to take in order to love those around you unconditionally?

Wisdom is dependent upon knowledge

 

WISDOM IS dependent upon knowledge.  Where there is complete ignorance there can be no wisdom, no knowledge of the right thing to do.  Man’s knowledge is comparatively limited and so his wisdom must be small, unless he can connect his mind with a knowledge greater than his own and draw from it, by inspiration, the wisdom that his own limitations deny him.  Only God knows all truth; therefore only God can have Real wisdom or know the right thing to do at all times, and man can receive wisdom from God.  Wisdom is obtained by reading the mind of God.  -  Wallace D. Wattles, "The Science of Being Great"

10 Rules to being a good shooter

 

Shooting a Basketball | Basketball Drills | Coaching Basketball

Coach John Wooden on failure

“There is no such thing as failure to the person who makes the effort to do the best they could do. It’s like character and reputation. You’re the only one that knows your character. Your reputation is what others perceive you to be. Character is far more important. For example, I think you can be successful and be outscored in a game. I think you can be unsuccessful when you outscore an opponent. You know, it’s sort of like my definition of success; it’s peace of mind, and without peace of mind, I don’t think we have much.”

Good article by Jeffrey Gitomer, for coaches- The 10 tragic flaws of leaders -

 

MSN Careers - The 10 tragic flaws of leaders - Career Advice Article

3 things about success:

“Stay focused on what are the most important things to you and your path to success. Then cultivate those individuals that can help you reach those goals. Find people that you can help in the process.”

15 Qualities of Today’s Most Successful People

15 Qualities of Today’s Most Successful People

1. Decisive Goal Setting: Successful people set goals and understand how to achieve those goals. Winners think, plan and take action. They do not sit around and wait for a good opportunity. They create opportunity for others.

2. Strong Self-Discipline: Successful people pay the price of success with their total commitment. They know that opportunity doesn’t knock, and doors do not open….Opportunity is within you.

3. Healthy Self-Esteem : Successful people experience contentment, regardless of external circumstances. You can control and redirect your mental state of mind, but you cannot control what goes on around you.

4. Positive Expectations: Successful people understand the devastating affects of fears and worries. They have access to a calm and peaceful state of mind. And they can communicate in a calm and peaceful way.

5. Driving Self-Motivation: Successful people understand that the most powerful motivators are “intrinsic”, and they know how to develop this inner drive. They also avoid low motivation behaviors at all costs.

6. Solid Self-Image: Successful people know that the way they view themselves is entirely in their own control. They seldom expect to fail, but when they do, they learn from it. They have a realistic view of themselves.

7. Finely Tuned Self-Control: Successful people know how to put their energy into their most important goals. They have a sophisticated relationship with time, and know how to harness it.

8. Expanding Generosity: Successful people think about others more than themselves. They understand that their decisions affect more than just themselves. They reach out to the world to help any way they can and look for opportunities to help others.

9. Knowing Yourself: Successful people do not pretend to be someone they are not for the approval of others. They also, know their strengths and weaknesses. They are realistic about their abilities.

10. Charismatic Self-Projection: Successful people know that they can attract good things like a magnet, when they project the right stuff to the world.

11. Meeting the Challenge of Change and Growth: Successful people do not fight the fact that change is never ending.

12. Effective Time and Stress Management: Successful people know that stress is unavoidable, so they learn how to use it productively and view it positively. With regard to time management, winners know that eliminating time-wasting behaviors can make them more productive with greater ease.

13. Communication Skills for Positive Relationships: Successful people always speak positively and make people feel like they are the most important thing going on at that time. They work on strengthening their communication skills in the professional world and at home.

14. Cultivating Creativity and Courage of Expression: Successful people realize that their creativity lies in their unique way of looking at the world.

15. Integrity and Diligence Always: Successful people have and unswerving determination to seek the truth, speak the truth and live the truth. They understand that the greatest type of pride is knowing they have done their best, even when know one is looking.

Dick Vitale hero for V Foundation, fight against cancer - Andy Staples - SI.com

 

Dick Vitale hero for V Foundation, fight against cancer - Andy Staples - SI.com

Here I stand

 

“Here I stand. I can do no other. God help me. Amen."-Martin Luther

In the words of Martin Luther I write while trying to help others stay out of the landmines in life. I have stepped into traps and watched others put themselves into traps that could have been avoided with a little bit of proper guidance along the way.

Some of life we must learn along the way. Experience is not always the best teacher. Sometimes your experience can be the best teacher. If it costs someone else and will not cost me then that can be a good teaching experience.

We all have had those moments that we look back on and are convinced we had to go through that trail in order to properly develop as a person. Some of those moments are without a doubt moments of truth. Without them we could not have been molded into who we are right now. Others could have possibly been avoided with simple guidance.

How do we help someone make the transition from one area of life to another? The average time span Americans spend in a particular job is 6.7 years. That means we change jobs on average every 6.7 years. We may stay in the same profession, but we change jobs that often. Gone are the days when we our parents and grandparents worked for the same company and received the gold watch for serving their 40 years.

14 Ways To Affair Proof Your Marriage

 

All Pro Dad | Free Resources

Father quits job to see son pitch for Gamecocks - News | FOX Sports on MSN

 

Father quits job to see son pitch for Gamecocks - News | FOX Sports on MSN

Someone we all can cheer for

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/draft2011/columns/story?columnist=ford_chad&page=Butler-110618
Marquette's Jimmy Butler

Communicate with others

 

"The way we communicate with others and with
ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives."
— Anthony Robbins

All Pro Dad | Ten Ways to Not Waste Your Life

 

All Pro Dad | Ten Ways to Not Waste Your Life

Love what you do. Love who you are. Steve Jobs commencement speech 2005

 

Text of Steve Jobs' Commencement address (2005)

Owning Your Failure: How Former Star Athlete Tony Mandarich Conquered Failure | Access Athletes®

 

Owning Your Failure: How Former Star Athlete Tony Mandarich Conquered Failure | Access Athletes®

NBA playoffs: Miami Heat's Erik Spoelstra has had a unique journey to sideline - ESPN

 

NBA playoffs: Miami Heat's Erik Spoelstra has had a unique journey to sideline - ESPN

Don’t Focus on WIIFM “What’s in it for me?” Go the Extra Mile For Greater Success | Jack Canfield

 

Go the Extra Mile For Greater Success | Jack Canfield

Every successful man…

 

"Every successful man I have heard of has done the best he could with conditions as he found them..."~ Edgar Watson Howe

Aristotle

"Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit."~Aristotle

Good article by ESPN Outside the lines on AAU program in the state of Indiana

 

Some question relationships built by Indiana AAU basketball team coach who doubles as nonprofit foundation leader - ESPN

Killebrew touches them all at funeral | StarTribune.com

 

Killebrew touches them all at funeral | StarTribune.com

Cops kick cellphone blabbermouth off train - Technology & science - Wireless - msnbc.com

 

Cops kick cellphone blabbermouth off train - Technology & science - Wireless - msnbc.com

Post play and guard play individual workouts

Coaches,

Email me at tkelsey@belhaven.edu for individual skill work drills. We have written out workouts for our post and perimeter players to use during our individual skill work sessions during the season.

Earl Nightingale

"One hour per day of study will put you at the top of your
field within three years. Within five years you'll be a
national authority. In seven years, you can be one of the
best people in the world at what you do."
— Earl Nightingale

Our attitudes

"Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force."~ Tom Blandi

Cory Dodds of The Academy of Sports Leadership:

The following is excerpt from Cory Dodds of The Academy of Sports Leadership:
Over the past decade I have watched many coaches in action and have detected a distinct difference between two dominant leadership styles. There are many ways to describe the leadership habits of coaches, but it appears to me that as leaders most fall into two categories—either drivers or builders. Drivers tend to be what leadership experts refer to as transactional leaders while builders fall pretty naturally into the category of transformational leaders. Drivers and builders have two very different leadership mind-sets and skill sets.
Drivers are generally after impressive achievements, especially the attainment of fame, status, popularity, or power. Not that there is anything wrong with that, as Jerry Seinfeld would say. But builders know that when success just means wealth, fame, status, and power it doesn‘t last and usually isn‘t satisfying. Builders commit to their calling and believe that people really do matter. For them, significance is found in contributing to the lives of their players.
Coaching is a major factor in any athlete‘s success. Most players recognize this. They‘ve been coached since they were tots playing in youth leagues. And for the most part they‘ve believed in and trusted their coaches. However, many adults reveal years later that they learned little from coaches they encountered in their student-athletic experience. Generally, the coaches that fail to impact student-athletes are transactional leaders.

Be a good one

Be a Good One
Pablo Picasso, the great Spanish painter and sculptor, once said this about his
ability: 'My mother said to me, if you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if
you become a monk, you'll end up as Pope. Instead, I became a painter and
wound up as Picasso.' No lack of confidence here!
But he would have agreed with Abraham Lincoln. 'Whatever you are,' said
Lincoln, 'be a good one.' He demonstrated the wisdom of that advice with his
own life. And in this present age, which often seems to be contented with
mediocrity, his words summon a yearning for improvement and growth.
I think it helps to remember that excellence is not a place at which we arrive
so much as a way of traveling. To do and be our best is a habit among those
who hear and understand Lincoln's admonition.
Viennese-born composer Frederick Loewe, whom we remember from his musical
scores that include - My Fair Lady, Gigi and Camelot, was not always famous.
He studied piano with the great masters of Europe and achieved huge success
as a musician and composer in his early years. But when he immigrated to the
United States, he failed as a piano virtuoso. For a while he tried other types of
work including prospecting for gold and boxing. But he never gave up his dream
and continued to play piano and write music.
During those lean years, he could not always afford to make payments on his
piano. One day, bent over the keyboard, he heard nothing but the music that he
played with such rare inspiration. When he finished and looked up, he was
startled to find that he had an audience - three moving men who were seated on
the floor.
They said nothing and made no movement toward the piano. Instead, they dug
into their pockets, pooled together enough money for the payment, placed it on
the piano and walked out, empty handed. Moved by the beauty of his music,
these men recognized excellence and responded to it.
Whatever you are, be a good one. If what you do is worth doing, if you
believe that who you are is of value, then you can't afford to be content
with mediocrity. When you choose the path of excellence through this life,
you will bring to it your best and receive the best it can offer in return. And
you will know what it is to be satisfied.
Author - Steve Goodier

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

 

"Once in a while a person touches our lives with words and actions so special that they change us forever. These are the people who extend our vision and inspire us to higher levels of personal achievement. They are our heroes."  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

How to help others and article on Alabama's Brock Bennett

Here is an article from the Tuscaloosa News on how to make a difference for those you parent, coach or mentor. It is a story of never giving up and working for a dream. click here. (I will also send out an email on how you can help those in Tuscaloosa affected by the recent storms).

In athletics we read and hear about athletes from many different backgrounds. My usual interest is how that athlete or coach achieved success. Not a great play, a fantastic game or remarkable career, but what made them. I want to know the back story. I like to know Paul Harvey’s “Rest of the story.” Here is an article to encourage you and maybe someone you work with to not give up. It’s a great “rest of the story.”

Brock Bennett is the starting catcher for the University of Alabama baseball team. He is also on the “Johnny Bench watch list” this year (as he was last year) as the top catcher in the nation.

Most of us come across individuals who make a profound impression by their sheer effort, attitude, and perseverance. It may even be by how that person can focus completely on a task or goal.

We get chances in our journey through life to come in contact with special people that are able to make an impact on how we look at things. It may be from one brief encounter. It may be from a relationship that goes back many years. It could come from watching someone from a distance. Whatever the case may be we can be impacted from a variety of angles and in assortment of ways.

I was privileged to coach Brock at Greater Atlanta Christian School in Norcross, Georgia as a part of our basketball program. He came from a very good family and was a polite and mature young man for his age. Although basketball was not his main sport he gave 100% when he was with our team. I left to come to Belhaven before his senior year of high school so I was able to coach him from the 9th grade thru the 11th grade.

Finding out that he made the baseball team at Alabama I was happy for him, but never imagined he would end up having this kind of career. My wife has kept up with Brock’s family and been to see him play numerous times over the last couple of years. With our basketball recruiting schedule in the spring there has usually been a conflict which has kept me from seeing him play.

My wife does a much better job of keeping up with other people especially former students. Brock’s fiancé’ is a former student of hers also from Atlanta so there is a lot of communication through Facebook, text messages, emails and phone calls. We look forward to seeing him play at the SEC tournament in a couple of weeks.

Brock has changed the way I look at athletes and young people because of how he has made himself a player. Maybe he is the 1 out of 50 that would make it, but he is still that one. “Never giving up” is quite a motto to have and to live by in my opinion.

I wish I would have taken more time to enjoy the “Brock’s” that came my way through the years of coaching and teaching. You never know what you might miss and who you might miss on as far as potential.

I know I’ve missed my fair share of “Brock Bennett’s” in my teaching and coaching career of over 20 years. I wanted more than anything to be the kind of coach that was there to have an arm around the kid when he struck out on those opportunities in life or missed the big shot. Most of us as coaches and teachers get into the profession for that reason.

Life can get in the way. Bill need to be paid. Kids need to be fed. Deadlines have to be met. Our employers have expectations. We sometimes make the wrong thing the first thing instead of making the most important thing the first thing. We put tasks over relationships instead of relationships over tasks. The goals we have set for ourselves get further and further away and sometimes the stress increases. Our comfort becomes more important than our purpose. Our meaningfulness gets lost in our business.

There is a Brock Bennett out there waiting to be coached or encouraged. Someone for your to say, “You can do it” or “Atta boy”. That kid is waiting to be told they are valuable and are worthy.

I see more young people today that are insecure and it makes them have that inner struggle more to be comfortable in their own skin. We all have someone that is waiting to be encouraged by us, somewhere, somehow. We need to take the time to support and believe in them like someone and somewhere believed in us.

It doesn’t mean they have to reach the exact goals they have set. They don’t have to be given everything they want in life, just because they ask. It doesn’t mean they are entitled to have certain things. What it does mean is that they are given a chance to believe and have someone believe in them.

Be that person that believes in others. It could be your own child, friend, or possibly other family member. Be the type of person who will believe the best in someone else and what they have to offer. We have enough people that don’t believe in others. We need more people to find and encourage the “Brock Bennett’s” in our world.

Give your kid or one you work a chance to succeed. Brock put the effort in and made himself stronger, faster and a better baseball player. No one told him to invest the time and get up early. No one made him lift the weights and have a special diet. He did that on his own because he knew the price that had to be paid. Like most I would not have thought what Brock has achieved was possible. With his size and with the stiff competition I would have thought the road would be too hard. What he had inside is something that can’t be measured.

In the profession of coaching and teaching you never know what can happen when you work with young people. Watching Brock has taught me to not doubt those with big hearts no matter the size on the outside.

Krystkowiak's road out of Shelby, Montana | The Salt Lake Tribune

 

Krystkowiak's road out of Shelby, Montana | The Salt Lake Tribune

From Seth Godin's blog, "What is High School for?"

What's high school for?
Perhaps we could endeavor to teach our future the following:

•How to focus intently on a problem until it's solved.
•The benefit of postponing short-term satisfaction in exchange for long-term success.
•How to read critically.
•The power of being able to lead groups of peers without receiving clear delegated authority.
•An understanding of the extraordinary power of the scientific method, in just about any situation or endeavor.
•How to persuasively present ideas in multiple forms, especially in writing and before a group.
•Project management. Self-management and the management of ideas, projects and people.
•Personal finance. Understanding the truth about money and debt and leverage.
•An insatiable desire (and the ability) to learn more. Forever.
•Most of all, the self-reliance that comes from understanding that relentless hard work can be applied to solve problems worth solving.

Bill Plaske's article in todays LA Times. Thankful for family

Click here

"Change your thoughts and you change your world." — Norman Vincent Peale

 

"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
— Norman Vincent Peale

"Change your thoughts and you change your world." — Norman Vincent Peale

Robert Hughes’ late brother the driving force behind NFL dream - Chicago Sun-Times

 

Robert Hughes’ late brother the driving force behind NFL dream - Chicago Sun-Times

The Formula that Puts You in Control of Success | Jack Canfield

 

The Formula that Puts You in Control of Success | Jack Canfield

Overcoming Fear in All Its Disguises | Jack Canfield

 

Overcoming Fear in All Its Disguises

Written by Jack Canfield | Thursday, 17 March 2011 00:00

Fear is one of most common reasons people procrastinate on taking action toward their goals. In an effort to avoid failure, rejection, being embarrassed, disappointing or angering other people, getting hurt and a plethora of other things, we play it safe and avoid trying new things.
Fear is natural. But it’s important to remember that, as humans, we’ve evolved to the stage where almost all of our fears are now self-created. We scare ourselves by imagining negative outcomes to any activities we pursue or experience. In fact, psychologists like to say that fear means Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.
Identify Unfounded Fears
To identify the unfounded fears in your life, do this simple exercise. First, make a list of the things you are afraid to do. These are not things you are afraid of, such as spiders, but instead the things you are afraid do to, such as skydiving.
Next, restate each fear in the following format:
I want to_______________, and I scare myself by imagining ____________________.
For example, I want to start my own business, and I scare myself by imagining that I would go bankrupt and lose my house.
By completing this statement for all of the things we are afraid to do, it’s easy to see how we create our own fear by imagining negative outcomes in the future.
3 Ways to Overcome Fear
Here are three easy techniques for moving past your fears:
1.    Disappear fear by choosing a positive mental image. When we’re afraid, our minds are full of negative thoughts and images. When you are feeling afraid, tune into the images in your head. Then choose to replace them with a positive image of your desired outcome. For example, if you’re afraid that starting your own business will end in bankruptcy and losing your house, instead picture your new business becoming wildly successful and buying a second vacation home with all of the added income you’ll be earning in your new company.

2.    Focus on the physical sensations. You may feel fear in your body as a sinking feeling in your stomach, a tightening in your shoulders and chest, or an elevated heart rate. Next, focus on the feelings you’d rather be experiencing instead, such as peace and joy. Fix these two different impressions in your mind’s eye, then move back and forth between the two, spending 15 seconds or so in each. After a minute or two, you’ll find yourself feeling neutral and centered.

3.    Recall your successes. You’ve overcome countless fears to become the person you are today, whether it was learning to ride a bike, driving a car for the first time, or kissing someone for the first time. New experiences always feel a little scary. But when you face your fears and do them anyway, you build up confidence in your abilities. The situation you’re facing now and how your fear is manifesting may be different than what you’ve experienced in the past, but you know how to overcome your fears. You’ve spent a lifetime doing so successfully.
Feel Your Fear and Do It Anyway
Every successful person I know has been willing to take a leap of faith even though they were afraid. They knew that if they didn’t act, opportunity would pass them by.
Recognize fear for what it is: a mental trick that your ego uses in attempt to protect you from the negative outcomes it imagines. You create your fear and you have the power to dissolve it as well. Use the techniques outlined in this article to overcome this powerful roadblock … so you can turn your dreams into reality and live the life you deserve. Remember, no one achieves greatness by playing it safe.

© 2011 Jack Canfield

Overcoming Fear in All Its Disguises | Jack Canfield

“I will let nothing and no one deter, detour, distract, depress or defeat me”

 

“I will let nothing and no one deter,
detour, distract, depress or defeat me” Ray Wilkerson

Kevin Durrant reading his Bible every day

http://tinyurl.com/639ma6z

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out..."~ Robert Collier

 

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out..."~ Robert Collier

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

 

"If I accept you as you are, I will make you worse; however, if I treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that." ~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Competition

 

"The principle is competing against yourself. It's about self improvement, about being better than you were the day before."~ Steve Young

Motivated by goals

"When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life."~ Greg Anderson

Race to Nowhere | Changing Lives One Film at a Time

 

Race to Nowhere | Changing Lives One Film at a Time

"Race to Nowhere"

More information on the movie parents and anyone in education needs to see:click here

'Race to Nowhere' film highlights stress students face in high-pressure academics

 

'Race to Nowhere' film highlights stress students face in high-pressure academics

7 Surprising Reasons You Wake Up Tired - MSN Health - Heartburn & GERD

 

7 Surprising Reasons You Wake Up Tired - MSN Health - Heartburn & GERD

Benjamin F. Fairless quote

"What is the recipe for successful achievement? To my mind there are just four essential ingredients: Choose a career you love, give it the best there is in you, seize your opportunities, and be a member of the team."~ Benjamin F. Fairless

Dreams do come true

Dreams do come true

Most of us that are coaches have a certain picture or two on display for people to see when they come to our house or office. The picture may be of a special team we were a part of or it may be with a former player. If we have our picture taken with someone in the coaching profession that is well known we put that on display as well.

These pictures have meaning and we keep them out not necessarily to brag, but to bring back fond memories. Also the pictures bring up good conversation for those that see the pictures.

I enjoy seeing other people’s pictures and to hear their stories. When I first become a NCAA Division I assistant coach in the summer of 1995 I made a trip to Iowa Central Community College in Fort Dodge, Iowa. We were recruiting a big kid from their school and over a period time I got to know the assistant coach fairly well. The more I got to know this assistant I knew he was the kind of coach that was going to be a very good one day.

I was impressed with the coach’s hard work, his willingness to help his student-athletes and his hunger to be a better in his profession. As with most junior college jobs the assistants don’t get paid a lot of money. One of the perks (if you would call it a perk) was free housing in the student dorms.

He and his wife had an apartment right in the middle of all the other dorm rooms. It was like a step down from an old Days Inn Hotel. I saw the living situation and thought this guy is either crazy or really wants to coach on the college level. College kids living around them on all sides and then he with his wife in this little apartment in the middle of all the chaos.

The first day we met he took me to his apartment/dorm room. Once we were there he showed me his “prized picture.” As I stated earlier most all coaches have them somewhere on display. He was proud to show me a picture of him and Coach Rick Pitino, who at the time was the head coach at the University of Kentucky.

This young coach had been a player at Morehead State University. You could tell in the picture Coach Pitino is not just congratulating him on a good game, but making a sincere comment to him. I asked him what Pitino said. He told me that Pitino was very complimentary of how this young assistant had played as a player and wanted him to know that he (Pitino) respected his effort. You could tell emotionally how important the picture was and even more important were Pitino comments.
To have a coach of Pitino’s stature go out of his way like that to say something special when you are a player had to be special.

This young coach continued to work hard and moved his way up the coaching ladder. He took a head-coaching job at a junior college for a school that’s program had not had success for a very good for a long time. He quickly turned it around and took them to the national tournament. With that he was able to land a job at the Division I level as an assistant coach. Once there he carved out a reputation for himself as a hard worker and someone that had a good career in front of him. He was well respected by those that knew him.

A couple of years ago he had the golden opportunity to go back to his alma mater, Morehead State, as the head coach. I’m not sure if there were many people that wanted to be a head coach more that he did at the time. One of his mentors told me that he was worried if his pupil didn’t get this job he may jump off a building he wanted it so bad.

Fast forward to this past Thursday. I was in Jackson, Tennessee to watch to our Belhaven women’s basketball team participate in the NAIA national tournament. It was their first trip in school history. It was fun to be there to cheer them on in their game vs. Azuza Pacific.

With recruiting, my own 5 kids, still moping about our season that had just finished when I saw the NCAA brackets and filled one out I didn’t study it very well. I didn’t really take a look at first round match-ups.

As I was watching our women play my seat was positioned a few rows behind the press table. One of the young men at the press table had his computer on to the NCAA tournament, but I couldn’t concentrate on our women’s game and the game on the computer. I did try to get the updated scores on my phone a couple of times for the NCAA games, but it was too slow and like I said hard to watch a game and keep up with four NCAA games going on.

I did notice that on the computer the game on was the Louisville-Morehead State game. As the Louisville-Morehead State game came down to the wire I heard some people saying we might be seeing an upset. As my eyes went from our women’s team on the floor and then to the computer I still couldn’t see what was going on with the Louisville-Morehead game.

When action stopped on the floor in front of me and there was a timeout in our women’s game I saw what I couldn’t believe. The Louisville-Morehead game was over. Louisville’s star player had his head in his hands on the bench. On the floor sprawled out in exhilaration was Morehead State’s star player. Morehead had upset Louisville!

Then it hit me Donnie Tyndall (the head coach at Morehead State) was going up against Rick Pitino. Not only that, now he has beat Pitino. The young coach I had met 15 years ago with the picture of him as a player with Pitino now had beat Pitino as a coach. What a win. What emotions. Facing a hero in game like that and then to beat the hero.

I began to think of the enormity of the Morehead State win and thought of the picture in Donnie’s dorm/apartment I saw 15 years ago. The thought that just kept going through my mind was, “dreams can come true.” They may take time, but they can come true with time, blood, sweat and tears.

This one game can be a career changer for Donnie. For all the coaches that toil and work their tails off and don’t get recognized when success stories happen like Donnie’s happen I want them to have hope and not give up on their dreams. Donnie had a dream, a vision and a plan.

I get to work in one of the greatest professions. Coaching can be a very tough, unforgiving, imperfect profession, but it is still a great profession that offers the opportunity to chase dreams. Yes, coaching takes a lot of beatings from the press and we make our fair share of mistakes, but we are dream givers.

I am in the business of giving kids a chance to reach high aspirations. We are privileged to provide a college education, playing college athletics and most importantly at Belhaven, we can give student-athletes a Christian environment for them to grow.

Whether you cheer for Morehead State or not on Saturday afternoon is your choice. Understand that Donnie Tyndall the head coach is just like you and me. He started from humble beginnings and those that know him best couldn’t be happier for him that he is on this stage. I want to leave you with the point to never stop believing in your dream and never stop dreaming in the people around you.

Dreams do come true.



.

For those that Wonder what the Wonderlic test is all about and how it got started

Her is the daughter of the creator of the Wonderlic test that has a test of her own.

click here for the article

The extra 2%

We talk as coaches and parents how to get the extra little bit from our players and children. Here is an interesting article from ESPN True Hoop.
Click here

Escorting a fallen Marine

click here

All Pro Dad | Michael W. Smith I Am Second

All Pro Dad | Michael W. Smith I Am Second

NBA.com - Guber Details Power of Telling Successful Stories in New Book

 

NBA.com - Guber Details Power of Telling Successful Stories in New Book

1st requisite for success

"The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary."~ Thomas A. Edison

First task of a leader

"The first task of a leader is to keep hope alive." ~ Joe Batten

Four Relationships for Successful Teams By Kevin Eastman

Four Relationships for Successful Teams
We have all heard many times over the years that coaching and leadership are about relationships.  As I think back to our fortunate run to the 2008 NBA World Championship and our run to the Finals last year, I can’t help but recall the importance of relationships to our success.
In particular, I want to call to your attention to four important relationships that I feel exist in all successful teams.  For us, all four of these involved a respect by and for both parties, a trust of each other, and also a genuine like for each other.
RELATIONSHIP #1:  Our players liked, respected, and trusted the coaches.
RELATIONSHIP #2:  Our players liked, respected, and trusted each other.
RELATIONSHIP #3:  Our coaching staff liked, respected, and trusted the players.
RELATIONSHIP #4:  Our coaches liked, respected, and trusted the other coaches.
I believe this last one is the one relationship, from a coaching perspective, that doesn't get enough attention.  It's almost never talked about or evaluated, but it can be a real killer of a team’s success.  I know of coaches that backstab each other and are only in it for their own advancement, showing no loyalty to each other.  If this is going on, particularly when you're going through a difficult time, you may be on a crash course with your season. 
As coaches we have to make sure that our relationship is healthy and strong.  The players can sense and see a divided staff.  They can sense and hear a staff that is not loyal to its Head Coach.  Players also are pulled in different directions -- what coach or coaches should they listen to, believe, support?
We were (and are) fortunate in that all four of these relationships were strong.  But it doesn't always just happen.  We invested a lot of time in each of these relationships to make sure they worked.  It definitely takes time to build all of these, but it is time you will be rewarded for in the long run.  For us that reward was the 2008 Championship trophy!
These same strong relationships will enhance any corporate environment as well.  As the African philosophy of "Ubuntu" (which our team has adopted)states: "people are people because of other people."  Whether it's the corporate world, your team, or the Boston Celtics, relationships are a major ingredient to execution, performance, and ultimately...success!

Working your goals

"If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you.
If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us."
— Jim Rohn

Any athletic or academic endeavor takes planning and preparation. I am impressed when I read about coaches and players that do whatever they can to be as prepared as possible for the tasks that are in front of them.

As a parent and coach the message I try to preach is to be ready for your opportunity. You never know when it may come, but be ready. Players last night in the Super Bowl had to make big plays that were not stars or major contributors when the season began.

Due to injuries it was important that they were ready and prepared to play in such a big game. Some of them that played well had been preparing for the moment on the big stage for their entire career.